


Happiness

by searchingwardrobes



Series: needtobreathe [8]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Deleted Scenes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Light Angst, True Love, s06ep15, s06ep16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 21:38:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12944487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/searchingwardrobes/pseuds/searchingwardrobes
Summary: What if Killian kept the shell phone and kept talking to Emma, even though he wasn't sure she could hear him? What if Emma answered him, even though she knew he couldn't hear her? Because when you're true love, there's no such thing as a one-sided conversation.All of the stories in this series have to follow two self-imposed rules: All must be deleted scenes, and all must be based on a needtobreathe song. Because needtobreathe is amazing and half their songs make me think of this OTP anyway. No need to be familiar with these songs to enjoy the stories, however. Lyrics included.





	Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place vaguely after "A Wondrous Place" and during "Mother's Little Helper."

_I got a homesick heart but a long ways left to go I've been doing my part but I ain't got much to show So I'm asking you to show me some forgiveness It's all for you in my pursuit of happiness_

 

            Emma eased into bed that night still clutching the sea shell in her fist, pressed against her heart. She knew it was unlikely that he would try to contact her again, especially since she hadn’t been able to answer him. She lifted it up and examined it by the light of her bedside lamp. How could she have been so quick to think that Killian would leave her? Why had she packed up his belongings in a mere matter of hours? She was ashamed. After all they had been through, she should have trusted him more than that.

            She released a deep sigh, pressed the sea shell to her lips, and then set it on her nightstand. But she had no sooner plumped her pillow and rolled over on her side than Killian’s voice came crackling through it once again.

            “Emma, Emma,” he called, then she heard him sigh. Emma sat up quickly and snatched the shell.

            “Killian, I’m here,” she spoke into it, though she knew it was useless.

            “I don’t even know if this bloody thing is working, but Ariel told me I needed it more than she did. I just . . . wanted to tell you . . . that I miss you. Terribly. I don’t know what time it is in Storybrooke, but here in Agribah it’s in the middle of the night.”

            Emma eased back into bed, lying sideways on her pillow as she clutched the shell phone. She stared at it, as if she could conjure Killian there.

            “I feel so powerless,” Killian continued. “Ariel and I found a caravan traveling to the coast, and I have a plan, it’s just – we’ve stopped for the night, and I don’t _want_ to stop. Because I want to get back home, to you. I’m lying here in this tent, and I hate it because you’re not here. I can’t believe after hundreds of years of living alone, I’ve gotten so used to reaching out and feeling you right there next to me. I can’t sleep without your snores.”

            “Hey,” Emma snapped at the shell, “I don’t snore!”

            “I know, I know,” Killian chuckled, “you claim you don’t snore. Would it make you feel better if I said it was a soft, melodious snore?”

            Emma rolled her eyes, “Only you would call a snore melodious.”

            “Anyway,” Killian continued, “if you can even hear me, know I’m thinking of you.”

            “And I’m thinking of you,” Emma spoke into the shell. She stared at it for several more minutes, but when no other sounds came through, she set it back on her nightstand and flipped off the light.

_Chasing that life, moving on 'cause I had to prove There ain't no life worth doing what I did to you So I'm asking you to show me some forgiveness It's all for you in my pursuit of happiness_

            Emma groaned at the sound of Killian’s voice. “Five more minutes,” she muttered crankily. Why did he have to be a morning person?

            “Love, I hope I’m not waking you. Like I said, I’ve completely lost track of time.”

            Emma sat up quickly as she realized the truth once again: Killian was gone. They’d been tricked by Gideon. She couldn’t even let Killian know that she heard him. She snatched up the shell from her nightstand as Killian’s voice continued to come through it.

            “I couldn’t sleep.”

            Pain gripped Emma’s heart as she heard the agony in his voice.

            “You weren’t here beside me, so that was part of it, but I also still feel so horrible for what I did, Emma. Can you ever forgive me? For trying to erase those memories without telling you, for one, and then I went to Nemo . . . “ His voice trailed off in frustration, and Emma could imagine him running his hand through his hair. “I don’t deserve you, Emma. I’m reminded of that every day. But I love you. So much, it’s like this ache within me.”

            Emma smiled, and clutched a hand to her own chest. She knew what he meant.

            “I know,” she whispered into the shell, “oh, Killian, I wish you could hear me. I wish you knew that I forgive you.”

            “We don’t share a heart,” he continued, “but it sure as hell feels like we do. To me anyway.”

            “And to me.”

            The shell fell silent again as the soft words fell from Emma’s lips.

_I got dreams that keep me up in the dead of night Telling me I wasn't made for the simple life There's a light I see, but it's far in the distance I'm asking you to show me some forgiveness It's all for you in my pursuit of happiness_

 

            Emma kept the shell with her the rest of the day. She told Killian things she would have told him if he were with her: a funny story about one of the dwarves, complaints about her paperwork at the station, her worries about her parents. Killian talked to her, as well, letting her know where he was and what he was thinking. In her head, Emma knew he couldn’t hear her, but her heart still felt like it was an actual conversation.

            “I had a nightmare last night,” Killian was saying now.

Emma paused in her work, tears welling in her eyes at his words. Nightmares were fairly common for him. For both of them, actually. Emma snatched up the shell.

“I wish I’d been there to hold you,” she told him.

“You’ve told me many times that you think I’m a hero,” Killian continued, that sliver of self-loathing still lacing his words, “but there are times my dark sins come back to haunt me. I wake up, and you’re there, this perfect angel, loving me . . . and it’s hard sometimes to believe that I can really have this. You know?”

Emma nodded, a tear slipping down her cheek. “I do know, babe, believe me. But you _do_ deserve it. You own your mistakes, and I so love that about you.”

“I’m never giving up on us, you know that. But there are times I wonder if fate just won’t let me start fresh. Like your father and I. He’s become the best friend I’ve ever had, besides you, and look what my past sins did to that? I doubt he’ll ever forgive me.”

Emma clutched the shell tightly in both fists. “He already has.”

“Well,” Killian said then, signaling a change in subjects with his self-deprecating laugh, “deserved or not, I’m fighting like hell to get home anyway. I’ve found Blackbeard, and I think I can con him out of a bean.”

“Killian Jones, you better be careful with that asshole!”

Killian laughed as if he’d actually heard her. “Don’t worry, I’ll be careful.”

_Sometimes you leave the ones you love But if it's love, they won't give up 'Cause they know a war's raging and you gotta choose These days are tough, these days are long Sometimes it's hard, you carry on But I hear a voice singing and I know it's true_

“I saw Hook talking into this bloody thing.”

            Emma frowned at the unfamiliar voice coming through the shell phone. She snatched it up and snapped into it, “Where’s Killian? Who the hell is this?”

            “And I could tell from his sappy words that you’re his _true love_. Never saw a pirate fall so far, I can tell you. To say he’s gone soft is the understatement of the realms.”

            “Blackbeard,” Emma spat, her eyes narrowing.

            “Anyway, just thought before I tossed this thing out to sea that you might want to know that your boyfriend was being chased down the beach by lost boys.”

            “Lost boys!” Emma cried out. “What do you mean? How’s he in Neverland? I –“

            But then there was the sound of a splash, the shell flickered briefly, and then its light went out. Emma frowned down at it for a moment, her heart heavy. But then a tiny smile slowly grew on her face.

            “It doesn’t matter, Blackbeard. Killian won’t give up. He’ll find me. We _always_ find each other.”


End file.
